Assignment

Your Task: Rewrite the hospital scene where Johnny's mother comes to visit. In your version, the nurse does not turn her away, but lets her in the room. Imagine Johnny's reaction. What would Johnny's mother say to him? What would Johnny say to her?

You are writing part of a narrative, not a script. Sentences, punctuation, and paragraphs should appear the way it would in a book. Use the book or passage above as an example. Pay special attention to the dialogue and how the author starts a new paragraph each time she changes speakers.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015


A nurse appeared in the door way. “Johnny” she said gently “your mother's" here to see you”. Johnny’s heart dropped and a number of bad memories came rushing in, “please I don’t want to see her” he said to the nurse but it was too late she had already walked out when his mother walked in.          

“Don’t wanna see your own mother” Johnny’s mom said walking to sit next to the bed where her only child was laying. Then knowing she can’t but does it anyway she lights a weed inhaling then exhaling and says “Those damn hoods have brain washed you Johnny, don’t even wanna see your own mother huh , my only son a murderer at 16." The room was filled with silence except for the machines in the room beeping and beeping.            

"WHAT WHERE YOU THINKING?!"   

Johnny finally spoke up " I WAS PROTECTING A PERSON THAT IS ACTUALLY FAMILY SOMEONE I CARE AND LOVE  UNLIKE YOU" , "mom" , "just get out of here please when I needed you, you where never there so what makes you think I need you now. "Get out of here there's no use having  a alcoholic as a mother and a father who's hobby is beating you." Now go, when you walk out of that door that will be a example of you walking out of my life I don't need you." She took her time but walked out without saying a word.

at that time the nurse walked in and said "you okay Johnny?," "yes" he replied. 

3 comments:

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  2. Please go back and fix your dialogue punctuation. Example: "Johnny," she said gently. "Your mother's here to see you." (End punctuation goes inside the quotation marks. Be sure to include a comma if your dialogue is interrupted with 'she said' or 'said Johnny'.

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  3. Also, be sure to start a new paragraph when you change speakers.

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